Judah had three sons by his first wife, a Canaanite woman.  (This marriage demonstrated that Judah had no concern for the spiritual welfare of his offspring.)  The first son was Er; the second was Onan, and the third was Shelah.  Er married a gentile woman by the name of Tamar, but died suddenly after the marriage.  As was the custom, the next eldest son was married to Tamar, but he died as well.  As a result of these deaths, Judah was reluctant to marry his last son to Tamar.  (Judah being quite ignorant of doctrine couldn’t figure out why his sons were dying.  He thought that somehow Tamar was responsible for their deaths (v.11).  Actually, Judah himself was at least partially responsible because he had not taught his sons the Word of God (One cannot teach what one does not know).  As a result, they had become evil and the Lord had executed them (vss.7-10)) under the concept of the sin unto death (1 John 5:16).   

 

 In any case, Judah told Tamar to wait while his third son matured, though he never intended to give his last son to her (vss.11, 14b).  Sometime later Judah’s wife died (v.12), and so Judah intended to visit a Canaanite temple-priestess at Timnah.  (While the Scripture does not directly state that he had intended to fornicate, there are many points in this passage which allow us to make this conclusion (vss.12, 13, 20)).   Tamar knowing that Judah never intended for her to marry his last son disguised herself as a prostitute and placed herself in his path.  She didn’t approach him; he approached her, and he did so in a very casual manner as if it had not been his first time. Even after he fornicated with her, there is no indication that he felt any pangs of guilt.  So, in verse 20 he very openly spoke to his friend, the Adullamite about paying the prostitute as if he and his friend had fornicated with temple prostitutes before.

 

Judah was a believer who was self-righteous, hypocritical and cruel.  After he discovered that Tamar was pregnant, he wanted to burn her to death for her apparent illicit sex though he was her partner.  (Arrogant people who condemn other people for their sins, conveniently overlook their own: Genesis 38:24).  Tamar on the other hand appeared to have some humility and common sense.  Even with her sexual affair, she was somewhat within her legal boundary according to Jewish custom.  (Someone in the family was responsible to marry her and provide her with a male offspring.)   Since Judah failed in this responsibility of providing his next son, she took matters into her own hands.